Mommy Advice: Mom of 5 Shares 8 Things That Helped Her in Early Motherhood
For Mother’s Day, here are some of the ideas, tips, and advice that have helped me as a mom. Some of these things I’ve learned through experience, but many of them have been taught to me by other mothers in my life.
I have found that mothers are among the first to lift, love, and share their knowledge. It’s our instinct. From one mother to another, here are 8 things that helped me thrive in early motherhood.
Mommy Advice: How to Thrive in Early Motherhood
1. Speak to Yourself Like a Good Friend
When you experience little wins like getting the baby to sleep, or choosing a healthy meal and some self-care, tell yourself how amazing you are! You’re doing great! Recognize how hard you’re working.
And when things aren’t going so well, like you lose your temper with your little ones or everyone melts-down at the store, still talk to yourself with the grace and compassion of a good friend. Everyone struggles sometimes. You can always repair and try again. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be better and maybe a healthy snack would help.
Challenge unhelpful thinking and reframe.
When you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, it can help to pause and challenge your negative thoughts, especially if you’re using absolutes like, “I always do this…” or, “I will never….” These probably aren’t true.
Instead of: Try This:
“I’m such a mess.” “I’m human. I’ll keep trying.”
“I can’t do this.” “This is really hard. I am smart and can find solutions.”
2. Get Out of the House
A change of location can do wonders for your mood and perspective. It’s good for the kids too!
Go to a park, the library, or a museum. A whole day with no plans can actually be daunting and overwhelming for a mom with little kids. Make outings a part of your routines.
If you’re more of a homebody and don’t want to have to pack up the kids, try inviting a friend over for some much-needed social connection, or simply play in the yard to get some sunshine and fresh air.
When I had little ones, another mother gave me the advice to take the babies along to do something that I would enjoy. I took my baby to a midweek matinee and had the movie theater to myself. We met a friend at the capitol building to take a tour, and we took regular strolls through bookstores.
3. Recognize the Hard Times Don’t Last
Sleepless nights, sick babies…they won’t last forever. I guarantee it. If anything, the hard times will build resilience and compassion.
In the sleep fog, and worry, and fear, repeating the mantra, “this too shall pass,” or something similar can give your brain a thought to latch onto and help you move through the hard times.
Try not to spend too much time worrying about the future. Instead, aim to focus on just the next minute, the next hour, or the next day.
4. Enjoy the Little Moments
This isn’t the cliche advice, “Enjoy every moment.” That concept holds too much pressure. Some moments of motherhood simply aren’t enjoyable. However, you can find many little moments to enjoy.
It’s usually the most ordinary moments of motherhood that are looked back on as magical. Holding your baby’s hand while they sleep, playing with bubbles, or cuddling together while watching a movie are just a few that come to mind.
We all have our favorite parts of motherhood. What are yours? Maybe you enjoy reading books together, or creating art, or playing in the sprinkler. Whatever they are, do more of them! Be present and soak in these moments.
5. Take Care of Yourself
This is easier said than done. By prioritizing your basic needs and self-care, you’ll be a better mom and a happier human.
You might think that you don’t have time to do even the simplest things sometimes like showering or making a healthy lunch. Make time; it’s important.
As they say, necessity is the mother of ingenuity. Find a way to take care of yourself too, even if you need to reach out for help.
Self-care isn’t selfish. Taking care of your own needs will allow you to be a better mom. Sometimes you might have to choose between doing something that will make you happy or a clean house. Your family would likely rather have a happy mom.
6. Find a Hobby
When you’re in the throes of early motherhood, you might be tempted to put off spending time on a hobby for yourself – don’t!
Research has shown that variety is good for your brain. It can be exhausting to spend all your time and energy meeting and anticipating the needs of your family. Do something just for you and don’t feel guilty about it.
Try out different hobbies. It’s okay if they change over time. Hobbies will help you to build a community, challenge your mind, provide validation outside of mothering, and bring more joy to your life.
7. Move Your Body
Find a way to move your body every day. It can give you more energy and boost your mood with endorphins. It isn’t always easy to get a workout in as a mom, but it’s worth it.
If you want your kids to learn to exercise, let them see you prioritizing it for yourself. Many times I’ve been surprised when my kids joined me in my workout video, morning yoga, or came outside to exercise with me without any prompting. Your example and behavior can have a powerful influence on your kids.
8. Look for Other Mothers to Uplift
We aren’t meant to do this alone. Mothering can be lonely, and we need each other. Look for ways to help and uplift other mothers. The kindness and service will fill both of you up.
Tell that new mom how incredible she is. Talk to the other moms at the park. Offer encouragement instead of judgment.
Take your babies and children to visit older mothers. They’re the ones always saying, “It goes so fast.” You don’t believe them at the time, but someday your future will arrive and you’ll know exactly what they were talking about.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are
Early motherhood is a wild time. It’s both exhilarating and exhausting. The more positive mindset that you can cultivate, the more joy you’ll be able to experience.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t measure your success as a mother by how you compare to other moms. Just do your best and take it a day at a time.
I’ve learned that mommy advice is to help give you ideas, not to tell you the “right” way to be a mom. There are many ways to be a good mom and to thrive on your motherhood journey.
Read the books and blogs, talk to the other moms, try things out, and at the end of the day, trust yourself. You’re doing better than you think you are.
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