Stop an Argument Before It Starts with These 8 Helpful Tips!
Medically Reviewed by Dr. Nicole Avena
Arguments can be emotionally and mentally draining. They can lead to increased stress, hurt feelings, and broken relationships.
So, what can you do when a conversation starts to get heated?
To help prevent misunderstandings from escalating into full-blown fights, try these practical tips to improve your daily communications with others.
8 Top Tips for How to Stop an Argument Before It Starts
Keep Your Cool
To prevent a pressure-packed situation from getting out of hand, always keep your cool.
It’s vital to remain levelheaded when voices are raised and tempers flare. Try removing the emotional charge from your conversations by speaking in a calm and caring tone. Tone of voice can be crucial in disarming a potentially volatile situation.
Also, closely monitor your comments and reactions to make sure they’re coming from a rational place, rather than an emotional one. Instead of saying something negative or critical try your best to say something positive and constructive. Many times, this approach will result in a better outcome for you and the other individual/s.
In short, always model calm behavior and others will likely follow your example.
Take a Time-out
When someone raises their voice or begins to lose their temper, take a time-out. This type of collective breather involves everyone in the discussion retreating to a separate space for a designated period (typically 10-15 minutes).
Spending some time apart from the other member/s involved in the dispute may help you, and them, settle down and forget about the argument. A cooldown period only works if you get buy-in from everyone involved, so make sure all parties agree with taking a time-out to avoid starting yet another argument.
Try Whispering
When others are yelling, start whispering. The dramatic change in the decibel level of your voice will most likely make everyone stop talking to hear what you have to say. Something in our psyche makes us lean in and listen more attentively when someone is whispering.
This tactic has been used with great success from board rooms to political assemblies. If an argument is getting out of control, try whispering to see if you can get everyone’s attention. Then you can attempt to de-escalate the conflict.
Build a Bridge
Instead of trying to convince the other person that your viewpoint is correct, attempt to see things from their perspective. The main objective shouldn’t be to win the argument but to remove potential threats, address concerns, and find common ground with the other person.
Building a bridge is one of the best ways to avert a quarrel before it even starts.
Get Outside
When drawn into a discussion that makes you feel uncomfortable, look for a way to redirect the conversation. If that doesn’t work, find a polite way to remove yourself from the situation or postpone the discussion.
Another strategy is to get outside for some exercise, such as a walk or jog, which is an effective way of letting off some steam when things get too tense. Getting some fresh air and exercise may help clear your mind so you can approach the problem or argument from a broader perspective. You may find that the point of contention you had with the other individual/s wasn’t that significant after all.
Focus on the Positive
This is one of those “easier said than done” tips, but it’s essential for maintaining healthy relationships. It’s easy to notice what you don’t like in a relationship, but when you spend more time appreciating what’s working well, you’re more likely to see an increase in positive behavior. Change takes time, but this is one step that can pay off big dividends if you consistently work at it.
Deal with Difficult Issues
Whenever you concede a point just to avoid an argument, you give away a little bit of your power. Over time, this loss of control can make you resent the other person.
Avoiding conflict in the short run often has devastating long-term effects. In a firm but kind way, express your opinion or concern. This will help keep the relationship open and balanced.
Overcome Poor Communication
Poor communication is at the core of many relationship problems. Jumping to conclusions, expecting others to read your mind, and needing to be right all the time are just a few negative traits that can cause a breakdown in communication. Working with a trained counselor or therapist may help you overcome these bad habits and improve your communications skills.
Additional Tools to Help Stop Arguments…NOW!
Disengaging when necessary, breaking negative thought patterns, and listening with empathy are other, powerful tools that can help prevent arguments. Also, admitting when you’re wrong can go a long way in diffusing tensions and earning the respect of those you’ve had disagreements with in the past.
Remember that conflict is a normal part of the human experience, and how we handle it can define our relationships. By implementing these strategies into your daily life, you’ll be equipped to navigate disagreements with greater ease.
If you’d like more information on how to stop arguments or improve your communication skills, check out these resources:
- Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson
- Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury
- Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Also, Amen Clinics offers in-clinic and telehealth (via telephone and video conferencing) services to those dealing with behavioral or relational issues. To learn more about the clinics’ full range of services, or to set up an appointment, please call 866-347-6076.
Thanks for reading this article! Hopefully it has provided practical solutions that you can use to prevent conflicts in the future.
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